Social Isolation, Limited Interaction
Ok, so I lied in the preceeding post. I have nothing happy and cheerful to offer today. I guess it's finally slammed home that hey, once I come home from work, particularly when I have no school, I usually go home, do some housework and school work, eat, and get on the 'net. Alot of times, this is a fullfilling activity for me, particularly when there is roleplaying to be done or someone to talk to on AIM. But when neither of the two are present, my social isolation begins. The depression follows.
I know I should try to get out more. Problem is, since I moved from Tennessee, and particulary since I graduated from FSU, I just don't see anyone out there like me. No one out there in Jacksonville to trust. I'm out to find someone to talk to, someone to appreciate that hey, I like to watch Star Wars movies, write, play my flute and guitar, and just be at home hanging out with friends. I haven't met anyone here who seems particularly interested in hanging out with me, however. Therefore I wonder if it is perhaps that I am just entirely boring.
It's probably a bad thing I don't see my church as a social outlet. But let's think about this a moment. Most girls/guys my age are newly married/engaged to be married/involved with someone. Some have kids. I'm a single gal looking for an interested single guy...
...and unfortunately there aren't alot of single 26-ish year old guys at the church. Most of the 26-ish guys are already married, so hey, I can't touch them.
Furthermore, I'm not a very outgoing person. I don't like going new places (i.e. social functions) by myself. I feel too shy, too dull, too uninteresting. So I stay home and wait...
...for who the heck knows what. So when you all finally log onto instant messenger, or finally show up to roleplay, and wonder why I'm in such a foul mood, it's because I've been sitting on the computer all night longing for the social interaction I can't seem to gain anywhere else. Sure, I go to work and interact with people. But there is no one I can really just talk to. There are people around my age, some who even go out with one another...
...but I'm not invited. And yes, I work at a Christian institution. ::sighs::
Apparently, the internet is a lousy source for interaction, however. I wonder if this is really what has become of the at least somewhat-social being I was in Tennessee. And in college, even.
Or is it just that I don't see any reason to trust anyone here worth two cents until they can stop and think that hey, maybe Carrie is ok and we should include her in something.
Am I being self-centered? Stupid? Thoughtless?
And what should I do in the meantime???
P.S. Sorry I keep posting crap like this...but I don't have many other avenues to vent.
I know I should try to get out more. Problem is, since I moved from Tennessee, and particulary since I graduated from FSU, I just don't see anyone out there like me. No one out there in Jacksonville to trust. I'm out to find someone to talk to, someone to appreciate that hey, I like to watch Star Wars movies, write, play my flute and guitar, and just be at home hanging out with friends. I haven't met anyone here who seems particularly interested in hanging out with me, however. Therefore I wonder if it is perhaps that I am just entirely boring.
It's probably a bad thing I don't see my church as a social outlet. But let's think about this a moment. Most girls/guys my age are newly married/engaged to be married/involved with someone. Some have kids. I'm a single gal looking for an interested single guy...
...and unfortunately there aren't alot of single 26-ish year old guys at the church. Most of the 26-ish guys are already married, so hey, I can't touch them.
Furthermore, I'm not a very outgoing person. I don't like going new places (i.e. social functions) by myself. I feel too shy, too dull, too uninteresting. So I stay home and wait...
...for who the heck knows what. So when you all finally log onto instant messenger, or finally show up to roleplay, and wonder why I'm in such a foul mood, it's because I've been sitting on the computer all night longing for the social interaction I can't seem to gain anywhere else. Sure, I go to work and interact with people. But there is no one I can really just talk to. There are people around my age, some who even go out with one another...
...but I'm not invited. And yes, I work at a Christian institution. ::sighs::
Apparently, the internet is a lousy source for interaction, however. I wonder if this is really what has become of the at least somewhat-social being I was in Tennessee. And in college, even.
Or is it just that I don't see any reason to trust anyone here worth two cents until they can stop and think that hey, maybe Carrie is ok and we should include her in something.
Am I being self-centered? Stupid? Thoughtless?
And what should I do in the meantime???
P.S. Sorry I keep posting crap like this...but I don't have many other avenues to vent.
posted by StargazerGirl at 1:07 AM
6 Comments:
Join a sports team! I meet lots of people that way and its good exercise.
Blogs are an great place to vent. You're not being self-centered, stupid, or thoughtless. It's the people who aren't including you who are being those things.
PS-I think you're awesome (from what I've read in your blog) and if you're anything in real life like you are here, everybody else are the ones missing out.
For me, the best places to meet people are the weirdest. You wouldn't believe what kinds of friends you can make at a grocery store.
Big Ben...thanks for the advice, but I'm inept at athletics. Does joining a Astronomy society count?
And Grrface, thanks. And I would probably be one to meet peeps at strange places too, if I was going to meet anyone anywhere. Heck, maybe I'll meet someone stargazing once I get my telescope? Who knows.
vent all ya like..we're listening. and i don't find ya boring. ;) i WISH i could play a flute!!
It's hard seeing you in this position, considering you were always the outgoing one while I was withdrawn.
Yes, the Internet puts a strain on real-life interaction, but I see it as more of a blessing than a curse. It's allowed you to find other Pod people (wow, that sounds ... weird), and it's allowed us to stay in touch more often than we did in college, etc. That's absolutely *huge* to me. (Another 'Net bonus: You can talk to reaper, who's literally halfway across the world. Can you imagine that phone bill?)
You know I'm sending love and hugs your way -- always. After more than 15 years, you're still the best friend a gal could ask for. :)
P.S. You sure about the sports? LOL
dude, you gotta be active, i know its not the easiest thing. But, if your christian institution isnt being all that welcoming, insert yourself into the activities.
Doors dont magically open FOR you. you gotta have the key, or a sledgehammer to open them, or...they may just be unlocked. Being passive will get you no where in this world, except, basically where you are now. Not happy.
I know i can be a complete and total ass sometimes ^_^, but at this point, i would hate to see a friend go down this road.
Just be active. Maybe, the christian people dont invite you because they think you wont go. And there are PLENTY of single 26 year old guys out there, just ask any internet forum.
The internet is a fucking awesome communication medium. I have more friends, who i am way closer to, not in memphis than i do IN memphis, simply because of IRC and AIM. There are people out there i talk to about 1000 times more than i talk to any of my four parents.
Hit up match.com or whatever some dating site is. Be honest about what you like to do, and no doubt, some guy will come along thats pretty cool. There isnt anything wrong with meeting someone from the internet, just be sure to bring a switchblade in case things get dicey.
Seeing as how the internet is an important part of your communication, look to the internet to find someone who also uses it for what it is (lol free porn, amirite?). But all joking aside, unless you find some networking admin at your church, you probably arent going to find anyone there that shares similar interests to you, simply because you have some somewhat niche interests. Role-playing can be very fufilling, but star wars + role-playing + church groups, doesnt seem to fit real well together, i think it has something to do with that hole messiah flavoring sprinkled throughout the SW universe.
i think i rambled enough.
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