Yes, I know I've been AWOL again...

Ok, it's been a heck of a long time since I blogged, mostly because between talking to my select little group of friends and doing homework, work, and sleep I haven't figured this into my schedule. There's really nothing profound for me to post, not that I'm all that profound anyway. I've got a teaching fair tomorrow, and I'm really freaked as all hell about it. Seems like just another opportunity for me to not get a job; another opportunity to be rejected, another opportunity for me to just be stuck.

I know the negativity doesn't suit the situation. I know the more positive I am about it, the better I'll probably do. And I know I should be relying on God to give it to me in the right time and place...

...but then I keep going back to wondering if this IS the right time and the right place. Everybody knows I don't want to be here, and it's just a matter of time for me to work up my nerve and pack up.

I guess my fear is I'll pack up, move home, and everyone there will move away, leaving me back at square one. And my feelings on this are pretty much based in reality. Heck, maybe they are the ONLY feelings I have that are based in reality. People will come and go...

...and the ones who mean the most usually stick close regardless of the distance. And I guess that's what's keeping me going. And well, I didn't mean to ramble on so. I had to vent somewhere. Heck, I'm crying. Yeesh.

On a happier note...The mysterious birthday present Kate is sending is driving me crazy...